Running = Miserable

I don’t care who you are – if you enjoy/love/like running while you are running – you ain’t right in the head, my friend. If you read that first line and thought, “Well, she isn’t a runner” – you were … wrong! I run – several times a week, and I can admit that while I’m running – it’s MISERABLE. The muscles in my legs stretch out during the first mile, and they’re screaming at me the entire time. It’s like I made the decision to run for my overall health, but my legs are rebeling and saying, ‘Screw you, lady! If we’re gonna work, you’re going to feel our wrath!” I have evil little muscles.

Then, to add to that, the heat turns up and I feel like I’m boiling inside. I want to scrape my clothes off me, jump in a pool of water, and stay until my face turns back to its normal color. Some might say it’s beet red, but I like to say it’s flushed. Flushed sounds so much sexier and beets are just gag worthy. Me? Gag worthy? Nope. So, flushed it is.

By the time I hit a mile and a half, the muscles in my legs have given up being little jerks, and I feel pretty good. I’m still hot, still miserable, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m calling myself all sorts of lovely names in my head, and I wonder why I put myself through this torment four to five times a week.

As I hit the second mile, my mind does a little jig as I stop running. My legs are rejoicing as I cool down. My mind is clear, my heart is slowing down, and I feel … relaxed. I feel good … really, really good.

Running is a battle every time I step on a treadmill or run outside. Sometimes I want to quit, to give up, and to take the lazy way out, but I keep going because I know when it’s all said and done – I’ll feel better.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Much Love to Y’all,

Tiffany

Awesome: Born, Not Made

There are debates out there that leaders are born, not made and it really got the wheels turnin’ in my brain. I finally realized why some people are awesome – they are born, not made. You either start the beginning of your life with the awesome gene or you were one of the unfortunate ones who never had it and will never have it. You can’t be made into being awesome.

I am eternally thankful that I wasn’t just sprinkled with the awesome gene, but the good lord poured it on me. I breathe in air and breathe out awesomeness, but unfortunately, it isn’t contagious. I can’t make you awesome by breathing on you.

Sometimes there are people who get on my last nerve, but then I take a deep breath, bask in my awesomeness and realize there has to be people who are not so awesome in the world. Just like common sense isn’t so common and people who think they are brilliant, but are really complete idiots run amuck amongst us.

If you are lucky enough to have the awesome gene, brush your shoulders off and own it, my friend. You are few and far in-between.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Friday is almost here and then on to freedom!

Much Love to Y’all,

Tiffany

Ninja Critters, Monster Cockroaches, & Black Widows

I never really encountered pests or annoying critters until I moved to Kentucky. There seriously has to be something in the corn and food around here that the  pests/critters get into that gives them super powers. There are times when my husband and I feel like we have won the battle, but most of the time we’re wrong. The pests/critters come back with a vengeance.

For example, last Spring we planted a vegetable garden with two and a half rows of corn. About a week before the corn was ready for human consumption, a critter who had to be part ninja was tearing down the stalks and having a feast. My husband set out traps around the field determined to catch what he was sure had to be a ‘coon. The next week slipped by and each night another stalk had been torn down and the corn stripped from it. After that, my husband decided he was gonna show the critters who was smarter. He hooked up the bush hog to the big red tractor, fired it up, and set off toward the corn that was still standing. Are you putting two and two together? That’s right, he plowed and chopped up every stalk that the critters hadn’t got into yet.

When he was finished, he jumped off the tractor and said, “If I can’t have the corn, I’ll be damn if they have the corn.”

Take that country critters! My husband is a genius with a pinch of orneriness in him. To this day, I still find the entire situation amusing. Now my husband is in the process of trying to decide what he can do to protect the corn if we plant it again. I’m waiting to see what genius idea he comes up with.

Then there are cockroaches where I work that are big enough for the mice to ride. Some of my co-workers and I make light of the situation by making humorous pictures of the dead cockroaches we find in our offices. I have a picture of the inside of a foam coffee cup that has a small amount of coffee with a roach floating in it and the saying across it says, “The best part of waking up, is roaches in your cup.” Yeah, we have a twisted sense of humor sometimes.

Finally, this past Wednesday I arrived at work early and the first email I read was about a black widow that was alive and well in our little pod of offices. I immediately push my chair out from my desk and scan the area around me. I’m not afraid of spiders, but if they’re around me, I want to squash the life out of them.

Essentially, Kentucky is a breeding ground for pests/critters with super powers. You can’t get rid of them and they always get the best of you.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Much Love to Y’all,

Tiffany

Invasion of Mac and Cheese

Everyone has something about them that others may think is a little odd. Even I have a nice little quirk that people find amusing, and I’m going to share it with you. Don’t ya feel loved? Here it goes …

I don’t like my food to touch. If my mac and cheese starts tumbling toward my biscuit, I defend my biscuit. I use my fork to push the mac n cheese away, and I keep all my food in small little sections. When people see me eat for the first time, they think I eat like a bird because my plate isn’t brimming with food, but those who know me know that the only reason it isn’t full of food is because I hate when my food touches. It can be a french fry touching the bread of my hamburger and I have to move it.

Hey, stop laughing! *sigh* Okay, go ahead and laugh. I know it’s completely and utterly ridiculous, but I can’t help it.  I have a serious problem with food invading other food’s space. If I have corn on my plate and the juice starts to spread, I will use a dinner roll to use as a wall to protect my chicken or whatever else is on my plate. Yes, bread and dinner rolls can be sacrificed for the greater good of the other food on my plate.

Now you know why I’m a ninja at night. I protect food from the invasion of other food. *hi-ya pow* Yep, I’m cool like that.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Much Love to Y’all,

Tiffany

From Long Locks to Bald?

I don’t know about most women, but I shudder every time I have to go to a new beautician just because there’s a possibility that she’ll mess up my hair. So when I read a post on Facebook by my husband’s cousin that said she was shaving her head, I was floored. I clicked on the link and kept reading to find out why she would do such a crazy thing. As I read what she wrote, I was completely moved and so proud of her. She is committing to shave her head to help raise money for childhood cancer research. Please, please, please take the time to read what she has written and if at all possible, donate to help her reach her goal.

As a mother of two boys, the thought of seeing them struck down with such a devastating illness would tear at my soul. When they are sick or hurt, I want nothing more than for them to get better.

http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/kpatches

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Much Love to Y’all,

Tiffany

Do You Ever Feel Like a NINJA?

There have been several times over the past two months that I have felt like a ninja. When we were being bombarded by gnats at work, my hands flew out in front of me faster than a bullet and *ka-pow* – the gnat was defeated by my ninja reflexes before I even knew what I was doing. It’s like I have the natural instincts of a ninja.

Then when Black Friday rolled around, I went into the store in stealth mode and my hands flew inbetween people, grabbing clothes before they had time to blink. Thank you, midget ninja hands!

*brushes shoulders off* Yep, I definitely feel like a ninja at times. I just hope I look as cool as I think I do when I’m karate chopping gnats.

I hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Much Love to Y’all,

Tiffany

A Few Hard Truths

There are a few habits that our male counterparts have a habit of doing while at work that has me shaking my head in amazement and trying to conceal my look of disgust on a weekly, if not daily, basis.

The first thing is when men feel the need to either adjust their junk or scratch it like it’s infested with fleas while they are carrying on a
conversation with you. I don’t know if they adjust it just to ensure it is indeed there, if it’s done  mindlessly out of habit, or if it’s just a security blanket that testifies to  their manhood. I can just see him beating on his bare chest bellowing, “Me,  Tarzan. You, Jane.” Mmm . sexy, right? Not
really. Scratch or adjust discreetly and do not try to shake my hand afterwards. Gross.

Then there is the men who love to chew some good tobacco. I find it really hard to have a conversation with someone who is constantly spitting in a soda bottle now  filled with brown laced spit. *gag* When I almost have the ability to ignore  it, I get distracted again by the strands of tobacco in their teeth that are  waving at me every time their mouth opens. If you are a single male, this is  not the most appealing image to a majority of women. I, personally, would  almost rather lick an ash tray than kiss a man chewing tobacco.

Last, but  definitely not least, we women know when you are slowly undressing us with your eyes. When we are walking toward you, you nudge your buddy lightly as you say something to him, and when he turns around to look, it isn’t at all obvious who  the topic of discussion is. Both sets of eyes run north to south and back  north again. Mmm … hmm … nice. You might as well yell it to the world, fellas.

These are just a few hard truths from me. Some women may love it when a man scratches his family jewels in front of her and even those women who get a kick out of a piece of tobacco saying, ‘hello’ when a man talks, but it isn’t for me.
Hope everyone has a wonderful week!
Much Love to Y’all,
Tiffany